Happy Halloween!
Hope everyone has a safe Halloween, and enjoy the kids (if you have any). Halloween is one of those quasi-holidays for parenting time purposes. Parents who fight over such things as having the kids for their own birthday, and minor holidays such as Memorial Day just do not get it. Does your 6 month old really need to ring in the new year? Sheesh. I recently had to remind a client that their one year old won't remember the holidays this year and not to worry about exactly splitting holiday time before a parenting schedule can be drawn up.
The purpose of parenting time is for the children. During negotiations over parenting time, I once had a client respond, "I need them!", referring to her two children. This client, and many other people in her situation, have difficulty with shared parenting because they are thinking of what they want, rather than what their children need. Another example is non-custodial parents who demand to have an equal amount of parenting time with the children. Common sense, and many studies, tell us that children need a stable home environment with one parent and substantial visitation with the other. But kids need ONE home, not two where they split their time. Although there are certainly exceptions to the rule, generally in these situations, the non-custodial parent is being unrealistic. The reality is that NCP's will simply not see their children as much after ending their relationship with the CP. That is one of the reasons why some people stay in relationships with the other parent despite not loving the other parent anymore.
Anyway, back to Halloween. I think this is a good event that parents who are cordial should try to participate with the children together. Its informal, most people don't have family committments (like Christmas or Thanksgiving). And the kids can see their parents working together and being good with each other. Children are very attentive to how their parents interact, and are much less stressed out, and more likely to be better socialized if their parents 'show the way'.
