Reading the fine print

Posted on January 24, 2010 by John Steele

I received an interesting question the other day that really shows me people do not know what they are doing when they say "I do":

MY HUSBAND LEFT ME TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER WOMEN,7 MONTHS AGO. NOW HE WANTS TO COME BACK. I PUT HIS NAME ON THE TITLE OF MY HOUSE. HOW CAN I KEEP HIM OUT OF HERE. CAN HE COME BACK WHEN HE HAS BEEN LIVING WITH ANOTHER WOMEN. 

My Answer: You can't.

This got me to thinking.  There are two things that people decide to do that make no sense, statistically speaking:

1. College 
This is a useful analogy to Marriage, so bear with me.  Going to college is not inherently bad.  But going to a crappy community college so that you can graduate with tons of debt and work at Micky D's is not a good plan.  Yet because young children are brainwashed that one of the two determinants of success is going to college, 18 year olds all over the country that cannot get into a rigorous institute of higher learning pay for overpriced tuition to bottom tier schools that do not have the reputation to assist in a job search, nor the tools to really teach much to the students.  If Ivy League schools are having trouble placing graduates, how do you think Southeast Illinois is going to do? (that is not a real school BTW).  Yet despite evidence staring us in the face that they may be getting into something they don't fully understand, and despite seeing friends working in fast food with a degree from Southeast Illinois, people keep signing up.  Now on to the second determinant society and parents claim will prove you are a success . . . 

 

2. Marriage

As I have stated in earlier posts, people have no idea of the legally contractual relationship they are getting into when they go to get their marriage license.  Standing at city hall, snapping pictures, with family members looking on approvingly, cheerfully making last minute plans as to where to go on the honeymoon and so on.  But they should.  Ignorance is no excuse in the eyes of the law.  That is why you can get a ticket even if you didn't know you were speeding.  And why many people have to deal with legally important concepts such as "marital property", "statutory guideline child support", and "order of protection" whether they knew the meaning at the time they got married or not.

Bottom line:  Not all people are meant for college.  I know that is sacrilegious to our current culture where everyone has to be seen as a winner, and we have to pretend everyone is smart.  The truth is the world needs garbage men.  And its better for the garbage men and society as a whole if those garbage men don't have to pay half their salary towards student loans from Southeast Illinois for their degree in communications or underwater basket weaving. Likewise, not everyone should get married.  Or at least not when they are under 30, and are still learning about themselves and what they want.  Getting married at 21 is a good way to practice so you can do it better the second time I guess, but normally people too immature to wait until they are ready for marriage usually also are too immature to know the importance of condoms.  Thus, these 'training-wheel marriages' are usually messy, and has helped create screwed up kids by the tens of thousands.  

I suppose I am not complaining, given that my practice is based on such poor decisions.  Since my advice will never compete with a typical 21 year old's mother or father, I am sure business will continue to boom regardless. For those of you who want to learn what the law says about marriage, look up 755 ILCS 5.

 
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Mortgages and Divorce

Posted on January 2, 2010 by John Steele

A frequent question I receive often:

My x was order by the court in my divorce decree to refinance in 90 days to have my name removed from our joint property....or he has to sell with my coroperation....he said he was letting the property foreclose....what can i do to keep this from effecting my credit....my name is on everthing...he has not taken my name of the property as far as taxes, insurance, nothing....what can i do so that i will not be finacially responsible for this debt.

My answer:

 

In a word: Nothing.  Technically, he is liable for loss you incur as a result of not following a valid court order.  He agreed to refinance and he is not doing so. In the real world however, he is letting the home go into foreclosure, so he probably doesn't have any money, and you can't get blood from a stone.  You chose to enter a mortgage with your spouse and in the mortgage paperwork, I can promise you that it states you are personally liable for the ENTIRE mortgage, even if your spouse never pays.  That is why you must always be careful when agreeing to any debt involving a cosigner, or you are guaranteeing a loan for someone else.  While this may seem unfair, it is not. If courts could force banks to change an agreement written in good faith because of a divorce, the entire banking system would collapse.  Banks wouldn't make loans out of fear of never getting paid, people would scam the system, getting divorces to get out of debt, and so on.

My thoughts on this issue:
The reality is no one wants to face the consequences of their own decisions.  When you get a mortgage with someone else (normally a spouse), you are making a bet.  You are betting that the other person will do as they promise and help pay the mortgage.  If you bet right, you have someone else to help pay the mortgage and you get the benefit of owning a home.  If you bet wrong, you have to pay the mortgage by yourself.

On a related note, Marriage is like a mortgage.  You are betting that the person you are legally tying yourself to is a good person who will do the right thing regarding raising children, paying bills, honoring agreements, etc, etc.  When people bet wrong, they get stuck with problems like paying the mortgage off alone, chasing the person for child support, fighting to see their own kids, etc. (I think I have the subject for my next post!)

 

 
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Divorce and the Internet

Posted on July 10, 2009 by Jason Schneider

Social networking sites have hit the mainstream and many of us have made it a daily routine to check and update our Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter profiles. These sites can be a great tool to allow us to stay in touch with friends and family and to keep them up to date on our lives. Social networking sites must be used responsibly though, especially when going through a divorce. Divorce can be an emotional and difficult process and spouses often give in to the temptation of trying to inflict emotional pain on each other and have begun to use the Internet to inflict this pain. Lawyers are now investigating these sites to find evidence and they are finding a gold mine.

Posting nasty comments about the other spouse, the opposing attorney, or the judge is never a good idea. These comments become available for everyone on the web to see. Not only do these comments unnecessarily inflict emotional pain and make the divorce process harder than it has to be, they may carry legal repercussions. Bad mouthing the judge is the quickest way to make an enemy and hurt your chances in court. Putting down your spouse may cast you as a mean or irresponsible person. No judge wants to help the bad guy!

Others have begun showing crazy party pictures with beer bottles scattered around the background (remember that your friends may tag photos of you too). Others post pictures of the new cars or luxurious vacations to the tropics. Hey, living well is the best revenge right? It is, but posting pictures of this new lifestyle will not help your cause. First, you will come off as irresponsible. A judge does not want to give custody to mother who is taking body shots or the father who is downing a beer bong. Secondly, the judge may start to guess if you correctly disclosed your net income, which controls the amount of child support you pay. If you make 30,000 a year and you just posted pictures of your new Ferrari and vacation to Hawaii, you may be in trouble. Once the judge starts to question your honesty, you are in trouble.

Although it may be tempting to vent about your divorce over the Internet, you should avoid giving in. The more private you can keep your divorce, the better. These “web attacks” serve no legitimate purpose and they will not heal the pain you are going through. Often, they will hurt your chances in court and make your lawyer’s job of presenting you as a good person or parent very difficult. They can be especially damaging when pursuing custody of children. Try to keep the amount of comments and pictures to a minimum. When posting, avoid discussing or showing anything that is related to the divorce. In the age of the Internet, it is now your responsibility to present your self as an adult in and out of the court room.

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