Posted on December 15, 2009 by John Steele

 Here is a question typical of what I get at least once a month:

 

What is the possibilities to win a 50/50 physical custody in a one year old?

as a non custodial parent ( i am the father) what is the possibilities to win 50/50 physical custody in a one year old ? im from illinois she live 70 miles away from me, im thinking like one week here on one week with here split all the expences is this is possible? we both hold a job and we have a good moral caracter.. thank you for the help

 

Here is my answer:

Zero. First, Illinois does not do split physical custody (see earlier posts). Here is the reason:

The courts do not like to confuse a kid and not have one stable environment where he can call 'home'. It wouldn't work once he is in school anyway, so your asking for a temporary solution. The courts like to establish stability and upending a child's entire living arrangement in a couple of years is not stable.

You have to think whats in the best interest of the child. Honestly, your request is probably more for your benefit then his. While many non-custodial parents wish to have more time with their child (and some simply wish to avoid paying support), the reality is that the living arrangement a good parent should want for their child is the one in which the child is most likely to become a well adjusted, happy, kid who is successful in school.

 

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Oral agreements are worth the paper their written on

Posted on November 28, 2009 by John Steele

 I received several inquiries today from people who wanted to know how they go about enforcing an oral agreement.  My first option would be to get a time machine.  That way the person can go back, grab a lawyer, have him draft an agreement, and get the person to sign it.  My second option would be . . . look at it as a learning experience for next time when you should grab a lawyer, have him draft an agreement, and get the person to sign it.  

Let's be logical about this (I know that is not common in my line of work).  Here is one typical example: I person who you promised to spend the rest of your life with, who discovered you were cheating on them, makes a verbal agreement with you regarding your rights to see your children and how much child support to pay.  No need for lawyers because 'they just cost a lot of money".  Six months later, when your ex meets the new love of her her life, she suddenly doesn't seem real accommodating, files a petition for child support, and claims you have never paid a dime.  Oh, and she cuts off visitation until 'things are worked out in court', maybe in 9 months or so.  All that could have been avoided.  

This may be counter intuitaive, but your ex will normally be at their most agreeable right before the divorce is final. Both sides want it over, each person needs the other to sign off on the MSA, and each person has this self perception of themselves as reasonable.  Also, neither party has usually fallen in love with their new boyfriend or girlfriend, so you have not been relagated to unwanted ex yet.

And don't get me started about child support.  The number of men paying cash for child support when there is no agreement in place explains why con artists are so successful: there is a sucker born every minute.

Here are my bulletpoints from this post:

1. GET A LAWYER.  You can always make more money, its harder to make more kids.

2. Child support, visitation, custody, and parentage need to always be in writing.

3. Do not put off hard issues for later, put them in writing up front.

4. Do not verbally change a written agreement unless it is VERY minor.

5. Unless you are a family lawyer, do not agree to anything orally or in writing until it is reviewed by and attorney and you understand it.

4. NEVER pay money to someone that you cannot prove you paid that money (I know this is obvious but . . .) And If you pay child support in cash call me because I have a bridge in brooklyn to sell you.

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