Family Law Lifeline : Chicago Family Lawyer & Attorney : John Steele Law Firm : IL Divorce & Adoption

Today I had two clients whose actions cost them more money.  So it made me think, 'Hey, let me mention 5 or so things I have seen clients do that ended up costing them more money. So here I go:

1. Changing your mind - Divorces work best with plans (battle plans, discovery plans, etc).  When I get a call from a client who decides that the plan that sounded so good 24 hours ago is now no good.  Or perhaps a 12th attempt at reconciliation!  Now I understand things change, and I am at the service of my clients (within reason).  Just keep in mind that if you are building a home, it gets expensive when you keep giving new orders to your builder.   Similarly, if your attorney has to keep changing overall goals, demands to opposing counsel, or he shifts positions, it stretches out the divorce, and makes both sides spend more time (time=money). 

2.  Forgetting your job title.  If you are not a family lawyer, the middle of your own divorce is not the time to pretend.  I know that family law is emotional, and clients are always eager to help their case.  But I also think a person needs to find a lawyer they can trust, put their faith in that attorney, and listen to that person.  I have too many stories for this one, but I think its pretty obvious. 

3.  NOT FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS! This would be number one if I was listing by importance (rather than simply free writing).  I do not get why someone pays me a good deal of money, and then ignores my advice.  For example, I tell Mr. X to not go back to the marital home without a police officer to keep an eye on things and prevent the spouse from claiming something that did not happen.  Latter that night I get a call from . . . Mr. X's sister, who wants to know if I also do criminal defense for domestic battery. Mr. X. couldn't call because he was too busy at the police station getting his fingerprints taken.

4. Don' t lie to your attorney.  Most people know that under most conditions, a lawyer cannot tell others what their clients say.  But when you lie to your attorney, they prepare your case as if you told the truth.  This causes problems, as the other side will almost always know the truth.  This usually comes out at a hearing and not in a helpful way to you.  Plus, good divorce attorneys will drop you if its a big lie.  Getting a new attorney up to speed is expensive too.

5. Get past the marriage.  If you are in a divorce proceeding, you are still married in name only.  You are not to trust the other spouse anymore.  Do not tell your former sweetheart what you and your attorney are going to do.  Do not obsess about what might have been.  Do not become inflexible.  Treat the marital home as an asset, not a collection of memories. 

Bonus:

One of my favorite lines I keep telling clients over the years is "It's only money, you can always make more".  Meaning if you worry about money to the point where you are trading it for peace/time/happiness, its time to reevalute.  I have been in cases, where I tell my client, for $10K you can end the divorce X months sooner, is it worth it to you?

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

True or False:

You (Wife 2) are married to a man who has a child from a previous wife (Wife 1).  Wife 1 can come after your 401K that you have had since before you knew your husband and it is only in your name. 
Answer: Yes. Ouch.

Recently the IL Supreme Court rewarded the incessant (and perhaps over the top) pursuit by a female attorney of her ex-husband by allowing that attorney to get at the funds in the ex-husband's new wife's 401K.  This despite the fact that the husband was happily married to his new wife, the 401K had no relation to the man except that he was married to the owner.  So he had no right to his wife's 401K according to IL statute, but the Supreme Court decided that his previous wife should have such a right.

Couple of thoughts on this. First, know the familial, financial, and legal situation of the person you are considering marrying.  Second, and most importantly, get a pre-nup!

GET A PRE-NUP!

(please re-read the previous two words 10 times, or until you feel you need a pre-nup prior to getting married. The only way to protect your assets when you are getting married is a pre-nup.  End of story. If you need more examples, send me an e-mail, and I will convince you.

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks

Supervised Visitation. The holy grail of child warfare. 

Now I know that there are some legitimate safety concerns with some parents.  But percentage wise, it is extremely less likely that a parent is "a serious risk of endangerment to the child" (legal standard) then a trip to domestic court will have you think.  I think its disgusting when a parent lies in an attempt to block access to a child by the other parent.  Fortunately, courts are becoming more and more aware of the rampant abuse of this tactic. 

Having argued both sides of the issue, I am glad that Illinois courts have made it hard to block a parent from seeing their kids, while at the same time providing a mechanism to protect the few children who need protection.

In a recent case, I represented a father who could not see his daughter unless he went over to the mother's house for an hour or two a week, while the mother stayed in the room.  He had no criminal background, no drug past, no red flags. His one fault had been to listen to his ex-wife when she said he did not need an attorney for his divorce, and that her attorney would take care of everything.  Sheesh!  A related thought is that when people ask me if being a family lawyer is satisfying, I think of the pure joy in my client's voice when he got to be a father to his daughter for the first time in three years. 

• Email This
• Print
• Comments
• Trackbacks