I received several inquiries today from people who wanted to know how they go about enforcing an oral agreement. My first option would be to get a time machine. That way the person can go back, grab a lawyer, have him draft an agreement, and get the person to sign it. My second option would be . . . look at it as a learning experience for next time when you should grab a lawyer, have him draft an agreement, and get the person to sign it.
Let's be logical about this (I know that is not common in my line of work). Here is one typical example: I person who you promised to spend the rest of your life with, who discovered you were cheating on them, makes a verbal agreement with you regarding your rights to see your children and how much child support to pay. No need for lawyers because 'they just cost a lot of money". Six months later, when your ex meets the new love of her her life, she suddenly doesn't seem real accommodating, files a petition for child support, and claims you have never paid a dime. Oh, and she cuts off visitation until 'things are worked out in court', maybe in 9 months or so. All that could have been avoided.
This may be counter intuitaive, but your ex will normally be at their most agreeable right before the divorce is final. Both sides want it over, each person needs the other to sign off on the MSA, and each person has this self perception of themselves as reasonable. Also, neither party has usually fallen in love with their new boyfriend or girlfriend, so you have not been relagated to unwanted ex yet.
And don't get me started about child support. The number of men paying cash for child support when there is no agreement in place explains why con artists are so successful: there is a sucker born every minute.
Here are my bulletpoints from this post:
1. GET A LAWYER. You can always make more money, its harder to make more kids.
2. Child support, visitation, custody, and parentage need to always be in writing.
3. Do not put off hard issues for later, put them in writing up front.
4. Do not verbally change a written agreement unless it is VERY minor.
5. Unless you are a family lawyer, do not agree to anything orally or in writing until it is reviewed by and attorney and you understand it.
4. NEVER pay money to someone that you cannot prove you paid that money (I know this is obvious but . . .) And If you pay child support in cash call me because I have a bridge in brooklyn to sell you.
